Sorgen i att vara Rebecas mamma

I am a salvadoran woman that is 50 years old. I came to Sweden because in my country people believe that Sweden is a one of the best countries that defend the "human rights".

So here I am with my two kids. I told them that we were going to have a new life and respect as the human beings we are. I knew that I have to say my motives of my arrival and that reminds me of the day in Migrationsverket. After waiting 6 hours a woman and a man arrived and they started to interrogate us. If I was scared my kids were worst.

All of a sudden the expressions of their faces reminded me of my country. I was raised when my country was on hands of militars and then a civil war came in which I felt the anguish of a country who was bleeding and I could
hear the helps from people and do nothing.

Many changes happened when I was growing so I learn to see, listen and be quiet. So I said half of my motives and quietly I went back to the camp. But I remember so clearly that they told me that I have the rigth of my second interview to add on rest information. So that made me feel calm.

I came to Hagfors. Study Swedish. I worked teaching English to the desesperated imigrants. My life started on and I began to observe what was happening in this country. We have suffered a lot.

I am a garteful person because of the flat, the money, my medicine, to live in such a beautiful country. But I have dropped bleeding tears too.

It was known that I needed a psichiatrist and instead of helping me on that they double my antidepressive tablets. My kids started to cry because of me. They used to tell me: "Mama, everything is going to be right".
- My right for the second interview was denied.
- In Migrationsverket someone told me to leave this country voluntarily.
- I was demanding my second interview. But I am only an immigrant woman with two kids so nobody listened to me.
- So I went to the lawyer the migration gave and told him about my threatens for my kids and me from one of several groups that exists in my country. They kidnap, kill, ask for money etc.
- I gave the lawyer so many proves. He did not believe so he asked me in a very offensive way why and why and I gave him every single detail and answers and told him some past aspects that could help me to have the humanitarian asile but he said: "It is not important".

- Migration gave us a negative answer.
- The lawyer never showed me the reports he wrote only one. I remembered that he did not add the most important facts so every time I was expecting the second negative. All of a sudden I learned about Flyktingcenter and I was so surprised because nobody told that I have that right even though the lawyer, migration knew that I had tried to kill myself. Amazing to believe!
- My kids continue suffering because of me.
- I went to Flyktingcenter and a man told me that I was going back and that my goals in this country were fantasies. I cried too much. My son was really angry.
- But my lovely kids were so naive because they were always telling me: "Mamma, Swedish authorities are good, remember that".
- I did not trust the lawyer anymore. He was angry with me because I used to ask what else can I do, what do you know, and he used to say "wait", as well I did not trust migrations anymore.
- The last negative came from Utlänningsnämnden.
- My daughter tried to kill herself 4 times and once she asked me to help her finish with her life. This was like a nightmare for me. She took 22 tablets and nobody cleared her stomach. Amazing, she is only 15 years old and no help at all. Here I was convinced that in this country we are not welcome by the authorities.
- So a lady, a reporter and my new lawyer helped us with a new application that only took one day for utlänningsnämnden to deny our permission again.

Why? Maybe a treaty with my country… maybe with a powerful country… I can conclude by saying about Rebeca’s threaten from his father to kill her. Why I didn’t say this before? Why I waited until she tried to kill herself?

My country is full of these types of crimes and we are used to them but when we left El Salvador we felt that our fears were left behind and that we were safe. What naive we are! On the other hand the first lawyer knew about this and he said "it is not important". We are only an extra case with a number and the people that handle this have lost what is really suffering and begging for mercy.

We have to leave this beautiful country with such a terrible and heartless authorities. We have to deal against death from Rebeca’s father and the gangs threatens too. Rebeca never had the opportunity to be listened to. She is my baby. I do not care if I die but my kids care and I only wish another oportunity for us.

But is life fair?
You can answer that yourselves.

Av Elisabeth A 02 dec 2002 14:17